It seems that there is an expectation that all women of a childbearing age with a ring on their finger are dying for kids. That’s just not the case for the modern woman as we have seen time and time again in the last few decades. Many women prefer a solitary life or love to be married but don’t want the babies. Some women can’t have kids, but also aren’t dying to. Some are undecided. Those are all valid choices. Super valid.
I am a mom of 2 loving/fun/crazy/cute/funny/smart/wild boys. I love them to the moon. Here they are…
They rocked my world from the moment that they were born and they will do so forever. That’s what I signed up for and that’s what I get. It’s pretty awesome. It is not awesome every minute of every day… but it is awesome. Research has shown that parents may experience less day to day happiness but more, overall, joy.
However, to be quite frank, there are like a million reasons not to have kids… and I will list a few here… That way, when you are pondering the whole “Should I? or Shouldn’t I?” thing, you will have some concrete evidence from a REAL mom.
Having kids is cool and all, but…
- Kids are selfish. Super selfish. So selfish it is not even funny. There is simply no room for another selfish ass person in the house once that little bundle arrives. If you are a selfish person, or a person who likes to eat your food HOT, then parenting may not be your thing.
- They are expensive. I am cheap. I thrift shop. I cook at home. They play with plenty of old, used toys and they aren’t in any fancy after school classes or activities BUT they are still so damn expensive. If you like to spend money and have fun, then maybe you are better off without the little leeches.
- Children are mean. My kids have said some really mean crap to me already and they are only 3 and 4, I can’t imagine what I am in for when they are teens. If you have a thin skin, or don’t want to be screamed at by an ungrateful gnome sized person, then you may want to stick with houseplants.
- They never do what you think that they will. So, forget having plans. Ever again. They will get sick on the night of your birthday party. They will not eat the beautiful brownies you baked them. You will plan arts and crafts that will get thrown all over the kitchen. So, they do what they want and they are unapologetic about it. If you are rigid in your thinking or like to stick to plans then kids will drive you bonkers.
And last, but definitely not least, you don’t want them. Period. You don’t owe anyone an explanation.